Mommy Mondays: Parenting is Worth It Even When It's Hard

I am so excited to introduce to you Andrea from The Organic Bird, whom I've had the awesome privilege of getting to know over the past year!
She's extremely talented and an amazing writer, she inspires me.
Not to mention she is an incredible mother who impresses me.

It's 6:53 a.m. and I'm minutes away from her little feet hitting the floor.

Sip the coffee. Deep breath. One more glance over the rooftops out my window and I pray for all the things in my heart.


Today, I have to believe that all these little pieces are worth it.


People tell me it's normal.

That all three year olds talk a lot and ask difficult questions.

That all three year olds think "poop" is the funniest joke ever,

moreover,

talking about it loudly in public

(as in, the grocery store)

is the funniest thing ever.


See, right now,

I'm tired. I'm busy.

Several days can go by without seeing another adult. Showers happen around 2 p.m., dinner is sometimes the leftover pieces of peanut butter and jelly,

and it's not so abnormal

to find peanut butter in my hair.


These days, I'm teaching songs about

how to clean

how to dress

how to walk

how to play

how to sleep

how to dance

how to be nice

how to behave.


I am writing songs about everything, but no one is handing me any royalties for these. No, in fact, it seems these are the days when all the hidden things matter the most. I'm playing my role in raising a little human over here.


Which means, most will never know how much we've been working on being polite. Or what a big deal it is that she's putting on her own shoes. Most people don't realize that walking through a grocery store without having a meltdown is an epic win in my mother's book. She'll never really know how many times I've knelt down at her bedside and cried, prayed, and cried some more.


I don't write much about her questions asking where her father is. Or the days I feel like the uphill battle is too much for me. The days I feel so completely alone, that I wonder if I my heart can survive on this sort of story.


So I have to believe that all these little pieces are worth it.


I think it's interesting when people ask me if it's hard being a single mom. I understand why people ask, but I don't think they're thinking when they ask.


Because really, single or married, parenting is hard.

It's hard with two hands, four hands, 10 hands.

It's hard no matter what — house, an apartment, two incomes, one income, siblings, no siblings.


It's hard because we love. It's hard because we, as parents, believe that our role as parents is

vital

ordained

sacred.


So I sing songs about nonsense,

spend time working on behavior issues,

listen and teach,

because I love her.

Because I believe that all these little things are part of God's unspeakable, beautiful work inside her that I can't see.


It's hard, but not because I'm a mom without a dad in this house.

It's hard because I'm committed to her. I'm committed to being her mom and taking my role seriously.

Every day, I'm waking up saying with my actions, my words, my time, my emotion

that she is worth it.


So I have to believe that God sees.

That when it seems like too much, or it's too hard,

that he knows my limits.

Nerves fraying. Emotions ragged.

He is pouring into my world daily, deep opportunities for

grace.

growth.

regeneration.


And when I lay my head to rest,

whispering words of gratitude mixed with pleading,

my heart spills and fills. My bed is empty but my heart is not. My role is solo but my burden is carried.

Sleep comes gentle and I pray for the next day.

Of questions, rambling, lessons and songs.

There is a little girl to grow over here.

And she starts early. Pin It