I have for some time now felt like I should close my facebook account for a variety of reasons, but I haven't because I know how much our families love to catch updates on Emily. Plus I run my business page and a moms group on facebook so I just didn't see how it was feasible. However, I finally came up with a solution & created an alias account. My alias runs my business page & groups and has only family members as friends. So now my family can keep up with Emily & I can become more disengaged from facebook. A much needed move for me.
I feel like in this day & age we are too connected causing us to be way less engaged in our lives. By that I mean we are so involved in the lives of 100s of friends we only keep up with on facebook & are hurting the friendships & relationships that we actually are a constant part of. I would hate for my daughter to be trying to talk to me one day and I'm too involved in checking my facebook page or any other social media for that matter. I want her to know that what she has to say is far more important. Same goes with my friends and my spouse. Sometimes when dead air strikes I fill the time with checking facebook instead of trying to come up with something else to talk about. I seriously think I have an addiction to facebook, a very unhealthy addiction.
I can't believe the words that are about to come out of my mouth, I mean I'm vulnerable here and admitting the truth to something I've pretended didn't exist...
I crave attention sometimes and facebook is a great place for me to get it. I can log on & make a whitty, funny status and instantly get responses. I find myself thinking long & hard about what my status will say in hopes of getting more than just a few likes, I need some comments. In some sick & twisted way this affirms who I am as a person. I literally felt pride in the 1000+ friends list I had going all of whom were people I really knew. Look at me...I really am popular, take that high school! I seriously probably checked my facebook 4-5 times an hour just to see if someone had commented on my page or my status or heaven forbid I miss someones status update. It's sick right? I mean who really engages that much of their time in some stupid website? I do evidently.
I seriously can't believe I'm admitting this stuff...
So it's come to a point that I need to push it away, really get away from it. I've watched many a people fast from their facebook accounts for lent or other reasons, but I've never done it. I've always tricked myself into believing that I needed my facebook page. There is something about being a mom that provokes more change in me so now I can walk away with strength I didn't have before. My daughter is more important than these stupid petty things. I don't need facebook to affirm who I am & I sure don't need it to distract me from my life.
So this week I'll deactivate my account for a season. I am not sure how long this season will last & I hope that I can come back to it some day because I really do want to keep up with the lives of some past friendships. I love being able to see that a good college buddy of mine had their baby or is adopting kiddos. Social media has allowed for me to pray over friends as they've lost loved ones, experienced health scares, etc. Social media isn't a bad thing, but I've created it to be. I need to walk away and learn some lessons before I can come back. I need to spend more time involving myself in the relationships I have in my life. I need to focus more on my family. I need to spend more time with Jesus. This is good for me.